ARAB CUSTOMS AND CULTURE

All Arabs share basic beliefs and values that cross national and social class boundaries. Social attitudes have remained constant because Arab society is more conservative and demands conformity from its members. It is important for Western observers to be able to identify and distinguish these cultural patterns from individual behaviors. Although Iraq is a secular country, the traditional Islamic culture predominates, with Qur’anic Law playing an active role in the day-to-day life in the country.

ARAB WORLD VIEW:

An Arab worldview is based upon six concepts: atomism, faith, wish versus reality,

justice and equality, paranoia and the importance of family over self:

·                     Atomism. Arabs tend to see the world and events as isolated incidents, snapshots, and particular moments in time. This is a key psychological feature of Arab culture. Westerners look for unifying concepts whereas Arabs focus on parts, rather than on the whole. It also means the Western concept of cause and effect is rarely accepted by Arabs who may not necessarily see a unifying link between events. They do, however, maintain a long-term memory over actions and events. It is important to point out that it is memory, not necessarily history that is important.

·                     Deep belief in God. Arabs usually believe that many, if not all, things in life are controlled by the will of God (fate) rather than by human beings. What might appear as fatalism initially is more deeply a belief in God's power, sovereignty, active participation in the life of the believer, and authority over all things (business transactions, relationships, world events, etc.).

·                     Wish versus reality. Arabs, much more so than Westerners, express emotion in a forceful, animated and exaggerated fashion. Their desire for modernity is contradicted by a desire for tradition (especially Islamic tradition, since Islam is the one area free of Western identification and influence). Desiring democracy and modernization immediately is a good example of what a Westerner might view as an Arabs “wish vs. reality.”

·                     Importance of justice and equality. Arabs value justice and equality more than anything else. All actions taken by the US will constantly be weighed in comparison to tradition and religious standards.

·                     Paranoia. Arabs may seem to be paranoid by Western standards. Suspicion of US intent in their land and a cautious approach to American forces are a primary example. Some Arabs view all Westerners as agents of the government that may be “spies.” Especially in the ethnically diverse areas, mistrust runs deep amongst these various groups.

·                     Family over self. Arabic communities are tight-knit groups made up of even tighter family groups and most often, apart of tribes. Most Westerners pride themselves on personal accomplishments instead of the typical Arab whose focus is on family pride and honor.

FAMILY:

Arab families are often large and strongly influence individuals’ lives. The family is the

basic societal unit and is very strong and close-knit. Arabs gain status by being born into the right family. A patriarchal system, the father is the head of the family and is considered a role model. Few women work outside the home, though the number has increased with urbanization. Each gender is considered its own social subgroup, interacting only in the home. All activities revolve around family life, and any member’s achievement advances the reputation of the entire family. One’s family is a source of reputation and honor, as well as financial and psychological support. An Arab’s first loyalty is to the family, which cannot be dishonored. Therefore, maintenance of family honor is one of the highest values in Arab society. Since misbehavior by women can do more damage to family honor than misbehavior by men, clearly defined patterns of behavior have been developed to protect women and help them avoid situations that may give rise to false impressions or unfounded gossip.

HONOR:

An Arab’s Honor is cherished and protected above anything else, sometimes

circumventing even the need for survival. Criticism, even constructive criticism, can threaten or damage an Arab’s honor; it will be taken as a personal insult. The Arab must, above all else, protect himself and his honor from this critical onslaught. Therefore, when an Arab is confronted by criticism, you can expect him to react by interpreting the facts to suit himself or flatly denying the facts. Therefore, a Westerner should take a very indirect approach towards any corrective remarks and include praise of any good points.

Similar to this concept is the importance Arabs place on appearances and politeness

regardless of the accuracy of the statement. For example, to questions which require a yes

or a no, such as “Do you understand?” the Arab's preoccupation with appearances and

politeness automatically requires that he answer “yes” whether it is true or not. In the Arab world, a flat “no” is a signal that you want to end the relationship. The polite way for an Arab to say no is to say, “I'll see what I can do,” no matter how impossible the task may be. After the Arab has been queried several times concerning his success, an answer of “I'm still checking” or something similar, means “no.” Such an indirect response also means “I am still your friend, I tried.” Therefore when dealing with Arabs or Iraqis, remember that the “yes” you hear does not always means yes and might mean no.

WOMEN:

Traditional Arab women are subordinate to men in their society. The extent varies by country, and you cannot generalize. The most restrictive conditions exist on the Arabian Peninsula, and the most relaxed conditions exist in Egypt, Syria, and Lebanon. In Iraq, dress codes for women are still conservative with women wearing headscarves in public. Dresses are cut from below the knee to the ankle and blouses cover the shoulder and much of the arm. Women in Iraq do not hold managerial positions and their opinions and input will most likely be ignored. Do not show any type of interest in an Arab woman or female members of an Arab family. Do not photograph them, stare at them or try to speak to them. Do not ask about women, it is considered too personal and rude. It is best to ask about the "family," not a person's wife, sister, or daughter. Men should stand when a woman enters the room. Public displays of affection between the sexes, even foreigners, are unacceptable. Arab society has a basically negative stereotyped impression of Western women as loose or immoral. Female soldiers need to be careful not to reinforce this impression by their dress and conduct.

As a Male, Do:

• Respect the privacy and protected role of Arab women.

As a Male, Do Not:

• Flirt, hit-on, touch, hug, talk in private with Arab Women. IT WILL ENDANGER

THEIR SAFETY. Family members and the average Arab man will threaten a woman if

they witness any casual relationship occurring with a foreigner.

• Try to engage an Arab woman in conversation unless you have been formally

introduced.

• Stare at an Arab woman or maintain eye contact with them.

• Talk in public to professional women, even non-Arab women, except on business.

• Kiss, touch or show affection toward any woman in public, including a non-Arab

woman.

• Ask an Arab direct questions about his wife or other female members of his family.

• Expect an Arab to introduce you to a veiled woman.

If you are a Woman, Do:

• Dress in a manner acceptable to Arabs. Uniforms for US Armed Forces personnel are

always correct. For civilian attire, western clothing is acceptable if it is loose and

covers the neck, arms and legs. Western women are not expected to wear veils.

Wear what would be appropriate within a US compound or facility.

• Expect to be excluded from some stores.

If you are a Woman, Do Not:

• Wear tight or revealing clothing in public. This is considered immodest and undignified

in Arab culture.

• Kiss, touch or show affection toward any man in public.

GREETINGS:

Arab men shake hands very gently and may pull those he greets toward him and kiss

them on either cheek in greeting. Arabs may also hold hands to walk to other locations. If an Arab does not touch someone he greets, he either does not like him or is restraining himself because he perceives the person is unaccustomed to being touched. After shaking hands, the gesture of placing the right hand to the heart is a greeting with respect or sincerity. (For women, placing the right hand over the heart after serving food is a sign of offering with sincerity.) To kiss the forehead, nose, or right hand of a person denotes extreme respect. Shake hands with the right hand only; the left hand is considered unclean. Failure to shake hands when meeting someone or saying good-bye is considered rude. When a Western man is introduced to an Arab woman it is the woman's choice whether to shake hands or not; she must initiate the handshake. Women shake hands only using their fingertips. Do not touch their palm and do not kiss her hand. Women do not kiss a man’s cheek in greeting, it is considered immodest.

GESTURES:

There are gestures used in the Arab world that convey different meanings from those

used in America.

• An Arab may signify “yes” with a downward nod. “No” can be signaled in several ways: tilting one’s head slightly back and raising the eyebrows; moving one’s head back and chin upward; moving one’s head back and making a clicking sound with the tongue; or using the open palm moved from right to left toward the person.

..• “That’s enough, thank you,” may be indicated by patting the heart a few times.

..• “Excellent” is expressed with open palms toward the person.

..• “OK” may be shown by touching the outer edge of one’s eyes with the fingertips.

..• The “A-OK” (forming a circle with the index finger and thumb of one hand) gesture is

    considered obscene by Arabs.

..• The “thumbs-up” is considered obscene by the older, more traditional Arabs. The

    younger generation has taken on the Western identification of saying hello. It is

    recommended that soldiers wave in return.

..• The left hand is considered unclean; the right hand should be used when gesturing.

..• To beckon another person, all fingers wave with the palm facing downward.

..• Other gestures include kissing your own right hand, then raising your eyes and your

     right hand used for expressing thanks.

..• Touching the fingertips of your right hand to your forehead while bowing the head

     slightly, is a sign of deep respect.

..• Placing the right hand or forefinger on the tip of the nose, right lower eyelid, top of the

    head, mustache or beard means “it’s my responsibility,” or “I’ll gladly do it for you.”

..• Hitting the right fist into the open palm of the left hand indicates obscenity or        contempt.

..• Stroking the mustache in connection with an oath or a promise indicates sincerity.

..• Do not allow the exposed sole of your foot/shoe to face a person, it is interpreted as a

    grievous insult, and considered extremely bad manners.

..• It is important to sit properly without slouching. Never sit with one ankle on your other

    leg’s knee, leaving the bottom of your foot pointing at someone. Sit with both feet on

    the floor and palms down on the thighs. Do not slide down or wiggle around     excessively, it is considered very rude.

..• Do not lean against walls or have hands in your pocket when talking.

..• Do not point or beckon someone with the index finger it shows contempt for the    person being pointed at, as if they were an animal.

..• Men stand when a woman enters the room; everyone stands when new guests arrive

at a social gathering and when an elderly or high-ranking person arrives or departs.

HOSPITALITY:

Arabs are generous and value generosity in others. Hospitality toward guests is essential for a good reputation. Arab hospitality requires that refreshments must always be offered to guests. When anything is offered, it is considered polite for the guest to decline at least twice before accepting, and for the host to offer at least three times before finally accepting a guest’s negative response.

As a Guest, Do:

• Arrive on time and expect a meal if you are invited to an Arab home. (Remember that

Arabs usually give approximate times but will welcome guests warmly whenever they

arrive).

• Understand that if a female accompanies you, she may be separated from you during

the visit to join the women in their living area.

• Always use your right hand in eating, drinking, offering, passing or receiving anything.

• Try all different foods offered you. You may ask about a dish that is unfamiliar to you.

• Eat heartedly.

• You may be offered alcohol. Remember General Order #1.

• Take seconds, even if only a small amount. It’s a compliment to your host.

• Compliment your host on the food and wish him always a full table.

• Take your leave promptly after the second or third round of coffee or tea after a meal.

Arabs usually socialize and converse before the meal, not after.

• Thank the host profusely for his hospitality and good conversation.

• Plan to return the hospitality.

As a Guest, Do Not:

• Feel obligated to bring a gift. If you do bring a gift, make it a gift for the children, which is always appreciated.

• Praise too much any of your host’s possessions; he may give it to you. If he does you

are expected to give something in return.

• Be aware that your presence may threaten the safety of your host, take appropriate

precautions.

As a Host, Do:

• Accompany your guest outside the door or gate when he leaves.

As a Host, Do Not:

• Appear anxious to end the visit.

• Ask or expect an Arab to uncover his head.